tell me how im supposed to breathe with no wifi
- Me: Patrick Stump is an angel
- Tumblr: Patrick Stump is an angel
- Pete Wenz: Patrick Stump is an angel
- Jesus: Patrick Stump is an angel
- Microwave: Parrick Stump is an angel
- Obama: Patrick Stump is an angel
- Tree: Patrick Stump is an angel
- Patrick Stump: aw shucks
i always forget that some people don’t follow me back because i have a whole imaginary friendship with them in my head so i’m sorry if i inappropriately reply to one of your posts it’s because i forget we’re not friends
I like things so I can find them again later, but at the same time I like way to many things, so when I go looking for it again, it’s lost in space and time.
This commentator for this Serbia/Korea volleyball match is a dick.
“Ooh, that’s a first for (insert Serbian player’s name). Probably for this whole match.”
How about you go play Olympic volleyball and I’ll diss you on worldwide television? Sound good? No? Then shut up.
carpe diem - seize the day
carpe noctem - seize the night
carpe natibus - seize the ass
#no #natibus is the dative plural #meaning there are multiple asses that are indirect objects #if you were being given multiple asses this would be correct#but since you want to seize one ass you need to use the accusative #so you should say ‘carpe natem’ #and that has been a brief latin nerd post about butt(s)
but I want to seize all the butts
- me: i think i already reblogged this
- me: did i already reblog this
- me: i totally already reblogged this
- me: ah who cares i'm reblogging it again
Acceptable ways of saying ‘you’re attractive’ on tumblr:
- FUCK YOU
- ASSHOLE OH MY GOD
- H O W
- W H Y
- CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR EVERYTHING
- IT’S NOT EVEN FAIR
- WHAT GIVES YOU THE RIGHT
- WHY DO YOU EXIST
- GET OUT
- I HATE YOU SO MUCH
- ARE YOU FUCKING JOKING YOU HAVE GOT TO BE JOKING
- ASLUTKDRAYFCSLGV.SYIA;SFTD;FAY FUCK ME
- NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO
Unacceptable ways of saying ‘you’re attractive’ on tumblr:
- you’re attractive
In real life, I’m a published writer with an MFA in fiction, and senior editor for a small book publisher. And I love fanfiction. I’d like to offer some tips to help us all write better stories in general, and smutty fanfic in particular. (I’m using Supernatural characters because that’s the kind of fanfic I write. But these tips apply to all fandoms and all writers.)
NOTE: If you do any of these things, don’t feel bad. That’s why writing is a craft, not a “you have it or you don’t, from birth” kind of thing. You have to learn a craft from someone that knows a little more than you do. And they learned it from someone else, or figured it out through trial and error. Doing anything well involves a huge amount of error, practice, learning, and repetition, just trying to get it a little better next time.
And here’s a secret: That never ends. So you’ll be happier if you make your peace with being imperfect and making mistakes now. Never regret making mistakes. Just try to make the next draft/story a little better.
- Say your dialogue out loud and see if it sounds right when spoken. If not, change it until it does.
- Try to stay out of the character’s interior thoughts (When Dean touched him, Sam felt happy.) Instead, show us what’s going on in their minds and hearts through specific sensory detail: When Dean let his hand rest on Sam’s stomach, Sam shivered like a wet puppy.
- Avoid awkward dialogue tags: “Come here,” Sam growled/hissed/screamed/said angrily. You can’t actually talk and growl or hiss at the same time; people rarely scream dialogue; dialogue tags with adverbs come across as juvenile and clumsy. Sometimes the best way to show who is speaking is through a line showing what the speaker is doing: “Come here.” Sam peeled his t-shirt off, sent it sailing across the room, and patted the mattress next to him.
- Avoid describing everything through what the characters see. There are other senses; use them. Scent, sound, touch and taste really bring the reader into your story. If Sam’s in the shower, you can throw in the sound of water hitting the tiles, or the whine the faucet makes as he turns it on. Maybe Dean smells like suntan lotion, or when Sam kisses him in the diner, Dean’s lips taste like the peppermint he was sucking on. Motel room sheets can be stiff and scratchy. The air in New Orleans is so humid and warm, it feels like it’s caressing your body all over. Make your details specific. Make them real.
- When you do write visuals, don’t say, “Dean sat down and noticed the door to the bathroom was ajar and steam was coming out.” Avoid writing that your characters looked at/saw/noticed/observed something. This adds an unnecessary layer of interpretation between us and what’s happening. Just show us WHAT they saw: “Dean sank down in the recliner. The door to the bathroom was cracked open, steam spilling out.”
- ^See how I worked in a few strong verbs and nouns in the revised sentence instead of non-descriptive ones? This is another thing that makes writing better. But don’t get silly with it.
- Nobody writes a great story on the first draft. Nobody. The secret to great writing is revision.
Specific tips on writing good porn:
- Words to avoid like the plague include wet pop, ministrations, butt and boner. Also, many people feel that spelling come as “cum” makes fanfic seem clumsy and tends to belong to the less well-written kind of porn. Particularly when used as a verb, as in, “Sam was cumming all over himself.” Please don’t.
- Never have a character say, “I’m cumming!”—please.
- The prostate is not a magic orgasm button.
- Men who like things in the ass on a regular basis don’t really need one finger, two fingers, three fingers, dick. Sometimes they just work the dick/dildo in straight off, because they don’t need finger prep. Also, often, they use fingers just because they feel awesome, not as dick preparation.
- Watching amateur gay porn can be extremely enlightening.
- If you aren’t familiar with the sex act you want to write, do a little research first.
- If you find the scene hot, it’s likely your readers will too. Don’t be afraid. There’s always something good even in bad slash.
1: Pajamas. My shirt is on backwards and I haven’t turned it around for some reason. *sigh* I guess I’ll do it now. Woo! No annoying tag!
3: No, thank god.
5: Not saying~
7: YES. SEPTUM. And maybe some more ear ones.
9: Ugh. Doctor Who.
11: I miss when I was happier.
13: Sweet sixteen!
15: Really, very dark brown. It only shows in the sun. Sometimes. It’s a bit finicky.
17: Whitney Houston? Yeah. Love her.
21: >u< at least 45 mins.
But I usually stand there. And I have a lot of hair. And I doubled wash it sometimes. And I like to be thorough in my washing. Excuses, excuses.
23: Yes? I suppose.
25: Some forms of dirty talk. Just, ew. Stop.
27: I have a lot. I don’t like any bug ever. There’s one.
29: A few days ago.
31: Uhhhhhh still reading? Grapes of Wrath. Finished? Paper Towns or Will Grayson, Will Grayson. I had a John Green spree.
33: The Nerdist, Comic Con episode.
35: I haven’t had a phone for almost a month. I don’t remember.
37: WWoHP. Or France.
39: *sigh* Not right now.
41: Directly? I’d rather not say.
43: Green. Okay think of camouflage. There’s like three different greens. It’s like the middle color, not too light or too dark. Yeah.
47: Uhhhh I Wanna Be Like You from Jungle Book. Haha. Tried to remember the lyrics.
49: Um. (God this is sad. I can’t remember. But then again, I have a bad memory.) Monday, I think.
what if you boarded a plane and a band member sat down next to you
1: What are you wearing?
2: Ever been in love?
3: Ever had a terrible breakup?
4: How tall are you?
5: How much do you weigh?
6: Any tattoos do you want?
7: Any piercings that you want?
9: Favorite Show?
10: Favorite bands?
11: Something you miss?
12: Favorite song?
13: How old are you?
14: Zodiac sign?
15: Hair Color?
16: Favorite Quote?
17: Favorite singer?
18: Favorite color?
19: Loud music or soft?
20: Where do you go when you’re sad?
21: How long does it take you to shower?
22: How long does it take you to get ready in the morning?
23: Ever been in a physical fight?
24: Turn on?
25: Turn off?
26: The reason I joined Tumblr?
28: Last thing that made you cry?
29: Last time you cried?
30: Meaning behind your url
31: Last book you read?
32: Last song you listened to?
33: Last show you watched?
34: Last person you talked to?
35: The relationship between you and the person you last texted?
36: Favorite food?
37: Place you want to visit?
38: Last place you were?
39: Do you have a crush?
40: Last time you kissed someone?
41: Last time you were insulted and what was it?
42: What color underwear are you wearing?
43: What color shirt are you wearing?
44: What color bottoms are you wearing?
45: Wearing any bracelets?
46: Last sport you played?
47: Last song you sang?
48: Last prank call you remember doing?
49: Last time you hung out with anyone?
50: Favorite movie?
i want to be in a sassy group of internet friends where we all have big skype calls together and we play video games together and we do livestreams together and we tinychat together wow i want friends
no wonder foreigners don’t like americans i mean our mascot looks like the bird form of a douchebag who takes gym class too seriously